Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Haiis ,
guess ie will nv be gd enuff for u ?
no matter how hard ie try , ie nv will be .
cause , in ur heart , u alr have a fixed ans ..
AN ans which tells u , cas will nv be gd enuff for me.
u only manage to see the dark side of me ..
guess u nv seems to notice how hard im trying to make u happy .
guess , u will nv notice how much im trying to win ur heart .

ur EX , just telling u she wakes up in the middle of the nite & folding swans for u ..
u immd get touch ..
but , how much ie did , u will nv be able to see or feel it .
Haiis .

now , ie see how weak our relationship is ..
cause , ie was nv a gd gf to u .
Haiis , it rly hurt freaking much ..
after 22 mOnths tgt , u come & tell me , ie nv treat u gd enuff .
Haiis .
how much ie always hold on to this relationship regardless of whu's mistake.
HOW much ie perserve regardless of what happen ..
even u timed me , ie OSO forgive u & carry on w u .
its nv appreciated .

to me , ure alr so gd that's y ie always wanna hold on.
but , ie realise y always , brking up is something u can say out frm ur mouth so easily.
now ie noe y ,, cause im nv gd enuff to u ..
u & ur ex brk , u oso niid to consider soo fcuking long but when it comes to me ..
its a piece of cake .
BRK DEN BRK ..
thats what u are thinking in ur miind , cause ..
im nv a girl whu treated u gd.
even how much ie tried , u cant see / feel it.
Haiis .

ie got nutting to say ler.

a dump piece of sh!t .
Haiis D=

11:56 PM

OH , guess wad ?
HE BRK WITH ME .
wtf ?!
after crying for 3 days 3 nite ..
the moment he come out , ie am suppose to be jumping with joy ..
BUT noooooo , im crying agains .
CAUSE the moment he came out , he msg-ed me he wans to brk ..
FCUK THE WORLD .

ie dunwans let him go , ie tried many time to HOLD him bakk .
kept asking him nort to let go ..
agains & agains , he just INSIST on brking up w me .
FCUK ?!
Haiis , ie even kinda begged him nort to let go ..
still , w/o considering how much im suffering ..
how much pain is in me ..
how much ie dunwans to let go ..
how much ie wans to hold on ..
HE pushed me ..
its like im on the 100th floor & he's holding on to my hand , if he let go ..
ie will just fall & die .
ie will just brk into pieces once ie land on the grd ..
& that's exactly what he did ..
knowing im alr dying .. knowing im holding on to his hand so tightly , telling him DUN let go , knowing that w/o him ie will die ..
HE just pushed my hand away , ie tried holding on tighter & he uses even GREATER force to push me away ..
& YES , of course he succeed .
cause ie let go , too tired to hold him bakk .

ie wanted to make this relationship rite .
heard that swee wanted to make a cake ,immd , the first thing that came into my mind was
him .
ie immd felt so exicted .
its like , ie wanna improve our relationship , ie wanna bring our relationship bakk
into the past .
BUT , he just give up .

boy , u give me up .
u simply let me go ..
u are the one guy whu HURT ME SOOO MUCH AT THE SAME TIME MADE ME
FALL IN LOVE W U SO DEEPLY THAT I JUST WANNA HOLD ON ..
BUT U CONTINUE TO HURT ME , U KEPT REJECTING ..
EVEN HOW MUCH TEARS I SHED , IT DONT SEEMS TO AFFECT U .
U JUST WAN TO BRK UP , U JUST INSISTED ON BRK-ING.
ie told u , ie dun miid waiting for u .
ie told u ie wanna wait , ie wanna be thr to support u .
ie wanna be the one to bring up ur confidences into this world ..
ie begged u nort to push me away ..
BUT , u just pushed me away , harder & harder each time.
every single time u're pushing me away , the hurt in me gets deeper.
but , u dun seems to noe / care.
Haiis , will u even regret ?
ie dun think so actually .
Haiis D=

ps : u are my murderer .

1:37 AM

Monday, July 28, 2008

missing you like always .
LOVING u so deeply.
the feeling w/o u now , is worst than brk-ups.
cause now , ie dunnoe even noe whats ur thinking.
im shure u inside oso comfirm asking urself ..
wondering what im doing now , wondering if im waiting or leaving u rite?
Haiis , dun wOrries dear ..
u just have to noe .
i'm waiting & missing u every single sec (:

LOVES ♥

5:54 AM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Haiis , bee.
missing u so much now.
w/o u , everything seems so DARK & empty .
how ie long to be in ur arms , how ie wish u can just sit beside me rite now.
How ie wish ie can see ur smile , how ie wish ie can just feel ur present.
BUT , all of that is impossible now.
cause of ur selfishness .
Haiis.
if u had just take a step to think twice , none of this would have happened.
if u had take a step to think abt my feelings , none of this would have happened.

u always said , im the navie one , the childish one .
BUT , do you noe .. ure fcuking immature , childish & navie .
Haiis ,
dunnoe when ie can see u soon ,
ie wasnt even prepared , when u went in .
the last word u said was ' ltr den call u again '
when is ur ltr ?
cause boy , im waited for days alr ..
Haiis =C
tot everything could start afresh ,
tot ie could make this relationship right with u .
after so hard of trying to patch , we finally patch .
BUT in less den 1 week this thing HAPPEN.
fair to me ma ?
Haiis .

dear , still..
u MUST stay strong inside , regardless of how xiin ku .
SMILE yeaah ?
dun wOrries , ie wunt let u down .
ie will wait for u , wait for the day ie can get ur warmest hug .
the day when ie can see u smile.
de day when u can stand right infront of me .
I WILL WAIT .

ILOVEYOU , ILOVEYOU , ILOVEYOU ♥
muuuuacks (:

ps : did u regret doing this foolish thing ? cause u SHULD !

7:54 AM

Saturday, July 26, 2008

he gg to be DB for a few months.
haiis =C

did u think abt my feelings , now u kena .
den what abt me ?!
u like tt , fair to me ma .
u noe , ie now fcuking hurt ma ?!
the moment ie hear this new , ie just cant control my temper.
its something ie wasnt prepared for it .
ie wasnt even mentally prepared den this thing happen !!!
FCUK U !
did u consider my feelings ?!
y u do these kind of things , how many time ie say DUN DO!!!!
Haiis =C
u just broke my heart ,
Haiis .. im rly very hurt ..
how can u like tt .
are u an idiot ?!
y must u go do these kind of things ?!
FCUK FCUK FCUK FCUK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its too unfair to me alr !!!!!

Haiis , bee. still .. im waiting for u .
when u come out , must contact me.

3:20 AM

im so disappointed la .
ie got so worried for u , kept asking joe to help me find u .
ie couldnt sleep last nite , entered my bed at abt 5+am ..
den kept waking up to see if my fone gt any miss call or msg ..
cause , im rly fcuking worried .

ie even tot u met up w an accident , cause ie knew ur mum dun like me ..
im afraid if ie cor , she will get angry .
ie got joe & sheryl to try call ur hus ..
den no one ans , ie gt even more worried.
ie even tot of gg to every hospital to check if u did admitted to hospital .
ie asked yuwen to teach me how to get mandai no.

& now ie found out u kena DB .
wtf ?!
ie rly wonder wad u did sia ..
Haiis , ie hope is nutting serious .
ie hOpe ure alriite.

LOVES CAS ♥

12:47 AM

Friday, July 25, 2008

bf MIA for coming 23hrs alr ..
shags ~
ie have no idea what is happening.
ie called kawi , his hp is off .
ie dare nort call his hus cause ltr his mum nort happy.
what should ie do , im going crazy ..
DARLIINNGGGGG ,
im so worried now , worriie that something have happened to you .
Haiis , ie dunwans ~~think~~ so much ,
but u disappearing for almost 24 hrs isnt NORMAL.
something must have happened.
darlliiinnngg , do contact me soon soon soon .
DUN make me worry ..
huummmppf , next time c u ,
I MUST BITE UR HAND 10 TIMES for making me so worriee laaa.
EEEOOOWWW ..
=P

ie miss u , darliing .
MUUUACKS ~

LOVES CAS ♥

7:43 AM

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

ONE BIG NEWS !

we patched , ytd (:
HAPPY .
however , ie do hope we can pass thru ur mum.
tho ur mum doesnt like me & thr's nutting ie can do .
well , ie will just try to think abt the positive ba.
ie sad oso no use , cause , ie cant change anything .
therefore , lets treat this like a test , a test for u & me.
SO , hope we pass cause ib we failed .. it means , we brk agains.
LOVE YOU ALWAYS .
hope , u wunt change ur words & wunt let me down .
ie will kiip my promise too .

ive decided to trust u agains & ie will trust u .

LOVE YOU , MY DEAR CHEOK KAMING !!
muuuacks (:

5:42 AM

Friday, July 18, 2008

Haiis .
maybe certain words are just meant to make me happy for awhile?
its was silly me who took all words for real .

u noe , that's the thinq abt me ..
ie try to believe everything he says , take his words deep into my heart .
& when things turn out opposite , GREAT disappointment hit on to me.
den ie will strt to kpkb ard , but to think back .
it was my stupidity , nort his fault .
he can say anything he wans , its a free world.
but , ie can oso choose to believe it or nort.
but somehow , ie always choose to believe .. bringing my hopes up high ..
& ltr , let everything smashes on the the hard floor & everything shattered.

well , even till now .. im asking myself .
wad if he rly says all the thing out of anger ..
wad if , wad if , wad if .
Haiis , but now . ie dun seems to trust any words frm ppl mouth anymore.
ie even fear trusting myself.
Haiis , maybe cos .. im too stupid.

Now , im still worrying if he got eat full at his field camp trip .
whether if he got take good care of himself .
GOSH , ie got to wake up .
y am ie worrying so much for him ..
Haiis .

SUNSHINE AFTER THE RAIN ,
god .. pls let the rain stop ..
cos , its drowning me .

LOVED CAS ♥

12:26 AM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

170708 .

Haiis , boy.
ib u nv change ur words , will ie be so rush to mention de word ' END '
will ie ?!
do u think im mad enuff to actually mention de word ' END ' after trying to
hold on for so long ..
do u think ie will ?
its the hurt u cause in me ytd , that drives me to a point whr ie just couldnt take it anymores.
LAST time , u changed ur words.
den ltr , ie fall for u agains ..
ie told u NV to change ur words .
BUT u did it ytd .
AGAINS , u just change ur words like nobody's business .
as if im nort a girl w feelings , as if ie wunt feel hurt .
the moment u change ur words , im like WTF ?!

u make me think of myself as a fool , like ..
a fool that believes in what u say ..
& ltr , u just change ur words so easily & im fooled.

Haiis , tho u tell me .. u said that out of anger .
but somehow .. ie find it hard to believe alr .
its nort hard to believe , is ie dare nort believe anymore.
ie dare nort believe cos , im deeply afraid that in any moment ,
u might just CHANGE ur words & hurt me .
Haiis , but wad said is said .
thr's nutting more ie / we can do alr rite?

if u think ie wanted our ending to be like this , think agains.
if u think ie nv considered ur feelings b4 , think agains.

hate me all u wan boy , cos .. maybe hating me is better than loving me.
Haiis , im sorriew , deeply sorriew to cause u & ur ex to brk .
ie rly am ..
ie sincerely apologise to u here ..
im sorry D:

Haiis , ie rly didnt wanted this ending to be such misery ..
like ie told u , some words are nort meant to be change .
if u didnt mean it , dun say it .
cos when a girl take it in her heart , the moment u just deny ur words ..
her heart will shattered into uncountable pieces.
u sweared at my hus that ur words are true ..
ie believed it , but ytd .. u changed ur words.
ie dunnoe if its out of anger / wad ..
cos ie dun dare believe anymore.

like ie said , even if what u said is out of anger ,
will it make a differences?
even if me , mentioning the word ' END ' is a word which ie didnt mean it at all ..
will it make a differences?
even if ie still love u deeply , will it make a differences?
what said is said , what done is done .
tell me , is thr anyway to turn bakk the clock ?
no rite ..
Haiis :(

nutting to say lers.

LOVED CAS ♥

2:26 AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

ie noe ie said abt nort loving him agains ,
ie noe ie said that its over btn me & him .
somehow , love is hard to control .
especially , when ie have deeply loved him .
after seeing him aqains , my heart went out to him .
NOW , ie wan him bakk , ie wan him into my life agains.
will u boy ?
im nort gg to stand thr & do nutting .
im nort gg to let whatever we've been thru to come to an end.
im nort gg to .
cause , I LOVE U ONCE AGAINS & nutting is gg to stop me.

alrites , ppl might be thinking .
what the hell is she doing , firstly.
she said so confidently she will nv love / be with him agains ,
why the hell is she asking him bakk .
well , my ans to ur qus is ..
LOVE .

ie cant control de love feeling ie have in me FOR him , get it?

Haiis , so anyways .
he stayed overniite last niite ,
heres a piic (:

my this cutiepie ♥

I'M LOVING YOU STILL !

LOVES CAS ♥

thr's some other piic , however .
it will be posted only when we ever patch (:

10:54 AM

Friday, July 11, 2008

guess whu is sleeping at my bed rite now?
LOL, its CHEOK KAMIING !!!
he came over to celebrate my dad's birthday .
& ended up staying overniite.
im SOOOOO HAPPY.
lOl , sweet boy , sugar dreams.

LOVES CAS ♥

11:36 AM

Monday, July 7, 2008

went sentosa today .
thought abt him alot.
den ltr , met up w him at vivo.
catch a meal & chat .
feelinq is still de same.
Haiis :(

worried ...

LOVES CAS ♥

10:58 AM

Sunday, July 6, 2008

u make ur friendster background w our memoriies on it .
it touches me .
thk boy <3
somehow , it makes me wanna hold on to u .
but ie noe ie shouldnt .
damn !

LOVES CAS ♥

5:19 AM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

ie tell myself ie hated him ,
BUT , love is hard to control , ie now realise ,
ie miss him so much .
ie realise my love for him is as strong as ever .

Sometime , ie have urge to fall into his arms aqains .
BUT , ie know , we are over for gd .
ie just niid a lonqer time to forget him.

here are some piic taken while we still tgt .
no other meaninq , just piic (: