Sunday, November 30, 2008

I give up lers ...
haiis , ie actually keep on telling myself ,
1 last try , maybe everything will be different.
why give up so easily..
just try 1 more time..
1 try will do ...

End up , still the same.
u scream at me non stop ..
till the last min before u hung up ure still screaming.
Haiis .

Sorry , maybe all these was my fault .
ie shouldnt have misunderstand ur words ,
ie tot what u said in msn / msg was a sign of love..
But , end up ...
its just me thinking too much ..
im sorry ie cause u such unhappiness , im sorry ie caused u to go crazy .
dui bu qi .. wo de cuo :/
If ie didnt think so much , if ie didnt misuderstand and thought
u are trying to say u love me still ..
All these wouldnt have happened.
I'm sorry .

Haiis ,
just now my mother came into the room ..
thus , ie didnt ans u for awhile ..
cause , ie was waiting for her to leave the room ..
but u were screaming and screaming..
ie controlled my tears but the tears fell out my eyes.
ie saw my mother looked and she turn away .
Haiis .

Ltr while u were still screaming and scolding me and ie was crying ..
My mother came in the room ,
this time my whole face were alr red , my eyes full of tears.
ie hid my face away frm my mum .
Haiis :(

Sorry , ie made u angry ..
I apologise here to u kaming ..
I'm sorry .

5:40 AM

I am rally loveless
I am really clueless
I didn't know what to say
And I didn’t say it the right way

I love him
I miss him
I want him
But our love has been thrown in the bin .

Haiis ,
what u wrote in msn , and ur msges ..
are so sweet...
made me think ,
maybe we could take one more ride ..
But , before ie could get on the ride ..
ie meet with another disappointment.

Haiis !
what do u wan ?
ie rly dun understand cans?!!
ur actions and ur WORDS doesnt LINK!!
ur actions and ur WORDS doesnt match .
you speak those words ,
but ur actions does another .
whats wrong with u ?!

Forget it .

2:17 AM

Saturday, November 29, 2008

I wait by the phone everyday
But you never call
I tell you important things
But you never listen
I say I love you
But you never answer
I write you mail
But you never respond
I ask if you love me, I ask if you care
But you never pay attention to me.

You make me feel all alone.
You make me feel unloved.
You make me feel like no one cares and no one ever will

How can you do that to someone you are supposed to love?
How can someone so sweet be so cruel?
How can I hate so many things you do but still love you so much?

Those are questions that will go unanswered forever
Because I can ask and ask but you will never respond.

Hmms ,
if u still love me , prove to me.
if u still care , show me .
cause , my heart is still with u..

With Love ♥

9:04 AM

Friday, November 28, 2008

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.
You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life.

I'll just be here on my knees picking
up the pieces of aheart that feels like
it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.
Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,

The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.

You see, what we have here and today,
helps me face the world,
with a love for you that gives a glow

but now, you made a choice.
My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.

With each piece I pick up ,I need to learn to let go.

many thought are in my mind now.

` whats he doing?
`is he with the girl he mentioned?
`haiis , is he thinking of me as well ?
`has he forgotten me?
`where is all our love we had?

But , ie guess ...
no use thinking so much ..
cause nothing helps.

With Love ♥

3:57 AM

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I've never felt so numb before
I guess I've had enough
It could be a shock as well to realize how shallow our love is..

I can't feel anything anymore
No, I don't hate u
i know i still care..
i know i still love u ...
but , everythings need 2 hands to clap right ?
i cant do anything with only 1 hand.
my left hand is missing.
Haiis.

I don't know if there's still a chance for us,
only time will tell ...

ie wunt deny , im missing u ..
ALOT!

8:22 AM

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

i can't escape the thought of you..
even in my dreams you are there..
it's not fair your gone and how you'e moving on so fast,
while i am still living in the past..

ie asked myself ,
why issit u can take just a few days to fade feelings for me ,
and it seems like it will take centuries for me to ever fade feelings for u.
why my feelings for u keep staying strong when all ie wish now ..
is to let u go .
Haiis,
why is letting u go so difficult .
but why it seems so easy to u ?

1:14 AM

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

recieve msges frm kaming today .
Haiis D;

sorry , but its impossible we contact as friends now.
Yes , we can be friends ...
but ie cant contact u as tho nothing happened.
it's a rly torturing thing for me
Haiis :(

The only time ie will rly contact u is when ie have totally got over u .
like whatever u do , doesnt affects me anymore.
Somehow , right now ..
ie cant do so ..
Haiis D=

u may say , im just childish or navie ..
Thats cause u are not me ..
u dunnoe how much pain it is for me.
maybe , im just nort as strong as u ..
cause , for me right now ..
contacting u as FRIENDS is a very painful thing to do...
Haiis D;

aiiya , u wunt get it de..
cause ure not me .
u nv will understand how much hurt u have caused me...
deeper and deeper each time.

ur feelings for me fade , thats why ..
its easy for u to just treat me purely as friends.
cause u wunt feel a thing anymore..
however , im different.
ie still love u like dont noe what ..
ie cant just treat u as my friends ...
its something ie cant do .
Haiis.

With Love ♥

6:19 AM

Monday, November 24, 2008

Haiis .
I tell myself ,
ie must smile even tho how much pain im hurting inside.
But , whenever ie pass by places we been thr tgt ..
memories just hits my mind and ie will be affected.

Today , ie wore the black top which doesnt match the necklaces he bought for me.
tot of not wearing it ,
somehow ...
ie end up wearing it , only keep it inside my high collar.
Haiis D:

I dont wans to stay home , cause ..
staying home only make me think abt him moree.
staying at home only make me suffer.
Haiis ,
how ie wish im working now ..
den time and day will pass by faster.
before ie sleeps , ie looked at his msg agains .
Haiis ,
couldnt believe he mention the word fade feelings once agains.
Hais .

But , ie gotta stay strong .
ie must.

With Love ♥

8:54 AM

Sunday, November 23, 2008

You said you love me,
but it doesn't always show...
You said you will always be there for me,
but you left me all alone...
You said you'll stand for me,
but you walked away when
I needed you most...

Just a few days ago , u told me u dunnoe how to express how much u love me.
just a few days ltr , u tell me ur feelings for me is fading alr.
Haiis .
U came back into my life and ie expected this time ..
everything would be a successful one uh ?
cause , u would have consider b4 even contacting me agains right?
But , end up ..
everything ended the same way ,
only thing .. the hurt just gets deeper everytime.

U feel she gave u a good impression .
Yes , a few days of chatting with each other u noe her so well alr.
So , hopefully ..
she is as good as u say she is.

U said, ' fade feelings means cant contact meh ? childish. '
But boy , this is cause u airnt considering my feelings.
U have made me thought that coming back into my life , everything will change.
We went thru so much ,
and just cause ie said some hurtful words to u when ie heard abt that thing.
Yes maybe it did hurt u .
But , did u think ie was hurt too ?
so , u shuld noe when im angry , upset ..
words just spills out frm my mouth w/o going thru my heart and brains.
But ended up , after thinking for awhile ..
ie decided , ie still wan this relationship , ie wanna try one more time regardless
im a fool to hold on or nort ..
ie sent u sweet msges hopefully , to make things right.

ie told u im willing to forget whatever she said and just continue like how we were b4 right?
But u actually tell me ur feelings for me is fading.
If u think u were the only one getting hurt , ie got nutting to say ok?

But , ie cant go on contacting u..
u fade feelings for me , but ie haven ..
My love for u is still so deep , tell me ,
how am ie suppose to watch u walk away frm me ?
Its will be like living in HELL!!
No , worst .
Haiis .
its not me being childish , its u not knowing my feelings .
u dunnoe how much hurt u will cause , if ie continue contacting u ..
ie will nv stop loving u .
Haiis , since this time u wanna let go agains by telling me u fade feelings.
den ...
all ie can say is ,
Hope u find ur happiness .

With Love ♥

ps: haiis , everything have repeat itself.
Good luck cas , u wil have to go thru everything once agains .

My horoscope todays says :
' It may be time to give up on a goal.
You had high hopes, but it's best to move on.'

8:01 AM

ie suppose everything is over.
Byebye .

1:20 AM

Saturday, November 22, 2008

FCUK YOU ASS.
FCUK YOU CB.
FCUK YOU KUKUS.
FCUK YOUR STUPID ATTITUDE.

did ie do anything wrong?
Or u are the one doing things wrong
causing all these shits to happen ?
did i not say im willing to forget everything , since its 1 month ago?
instead of me fcuking ignoring u , u fcuking hell ignore me.
u fcuking kuku narden pcb .

Yes , pardon all these words im using .
Cause u have rly reach my limits .
i msg u nicely , i msg u properly .
u fcuking hell ignore it still .
i cor u , u dont ans .
next min u are outside having fun .
Yes FUCK U ONCE AGAIN.

u claim u LOVE me , u claim u fallen for me deeply .
dont just say , use actions la ass.

Thus , forget it.
im not gonna give a fcuking damn to ur fcuking attitude .
im nort gonna give a damn to fucking u!
when u fcuking feel like fcuking contact me , den contact me.
Alrights , look .
I DONT OWE U ANYTHING , ie did no wrong this time.
But ive been giving in to this things while u fcuking behave like
im the one who did all these things.
Know ur limit laa!

Today is a FCUK day .
so as ytd and ytd !

1:15 AM

Friday, November 21, 2008

Whatever that happened hurt me , yes .. alot.
But , how u respond to this problem hurt me even more..
instead of facing everything ,
u choose to escape and leaving me alone to walk on the hurting road.
Instead of showing me some responsiblity or cheering me up ,
u choose to ignore and push me away .
Yes , now ie noe why everyday ie feel more and more hurt , ie realised ..
its actually not what ie found out that caused me to be so hurt ,
its ur actions towards whatever that have happened.

Pushing me away without asking me what ie wan ..
if u feel that will do me good , yes
maybe ure right .
But , is that what ie wans things to be happening?

All those thing happened 1 month ago .
That's one reason why , ie wanna hold on.
Haiis D;
But , it seems like it isnt what u are thinking ..

3:46 AM

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Breath is an excuse,
Life is a lie.
Were all cold and dry,
Until the day that we die.

he said that he loved me,
he said that he cared.
But he left me alone
Shivering and scared.

ie cant sleep right now.
My eyes are birnng hot , after crying for 2 hrs.
shags ~
im lost .

Yes , im hurt.
But ie dunwanna let go ..
Haiis D;
what the hell am ie thinking ._.

Those things happened 1 month ago ,
somehow that urges me to take risk and give this relationship a chance..
But haiis :/
what u said are clear ..
ie understand ur words.

12:06 PM

The way that I’m feeling is hard to describe
I feel lost and alone in this unbearable life .

My emotions are twisted, my stomach in knots
I wish there was something to erase my thoughts.

I am going to try to fake my smile
Maybe that will last for a while

It you think you see a smile on my face
Look a little deeper you’ll see I’m out of place
Maybe someday soon the sun will shine.

ps : once agin , ie fell hard to the ground.

3:14 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Haiis :(
feeling hurted now.
ie rly wish what ie heard isnt true ..
cause ,
like u said u change.

Now , half of my heart is telling me ..
dont listen to others and trust u , be on ur side..
another half is telling me to FCUKING WAKE UP .
haiis ..
ie dont noe if she is telling me the truth ..
but , ie believe she has no reason to lie.
But , the truth will be reveal very soon .

yes , im scare ..
scare to know the truth ..
scare to get hurt ..
But , if ie dont find out the truth ..
ie will forever be a fool .
Haiis D;

Boy , ie rly hope u wunt let me down ..
My hopes on our relationship are high .
U come back into my life and let me feel
we could start everything afresh .
Dont let me fall agains :(

I'm praying hard ..
for this relationship :(

9:54 AM

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Boy ,
trust me when ie say this..
if we ever patch ,
our relationship will be a better and stronger one (:

ILU & IMU ♥

With Love <3

8:07 AM

Monday, November 17, 2008

Lately im a stranger to myself
Feeling strange is something ie can’t help
ie feel very empty inside.

is it fair u do these to me .
Just cause ure suffering from moodswings ,
u ignore me completely..
airnt my feelings important to u ?
why are u neglecting me like that ?
This part , ie dont understand :/

with love.

8:16 AM

Saturday, November 15, 2008

been a long time since ie last updated yeah ?

ie had a bad dream .

Yes , a rly bad dream .

and , ie fear .. it will come ~~true~~ =c

why ?

cause .... * reasons .

But , forget it .. dont wans think so much .

kuku narden =x

2:03 AM

Friday, November 7, 2008

Q: am ie happy?
A: ie cant say i am.

thats for today .
cause , ie dont wish to update much on my mood here.
as .. whats the point.
still ,
spent 2 days with him .
happy ?
Yes , cause ie get to be by his side.
Unhappy ?
yes , cause ie saw something .
what ie did ?
Nothing , cause .. ie cant do anything.
How am ie going to overcome it?
Just .. a smile beyond my tears .

Goodnitees , byebye !

ps : ie wasnt a girl who hides her emotions , somehow..
ie am now.

11:38 AM

Saturday, November 1, 2008

If you put negative energy into a situation, it will not have a positive outcome.

That's what ie gonna do , put a positive enegry into a situation.
In order to get a positive outcome xD

Well , just a thought to share.
With Love ♥

10:04 AM