Sunday, August 31, 2008

gooossshhh . decided to GIVE everything back . i've think abt it very long too . actually , u got bf or not also don need tel me de . u wanna tel me for ? -.- ji tao~ and , thx for UR~~~~ BLESSINGS . . . . and of cos , im not worried abt u . i also knw u're happier without me . so many guys , of cos happy la . lols . * don need reply to any of these sentence * anw , donno y in this world got ppl who only knw how to give comment on other ppl and not even takin a good look in the mirror of him/herself . c'on , she's so much smaller size den . . . hahas! laughs . . k k . gtg sleep le .
' nvr judge an appearance from it's image when u've not even seen it in live ' jus a quote .
no name is mentioned , so ~ don assume . jiao au !

2:09 PM

Saturday, August 30, 2008

We dont even talk anymore.
We both went our seprate ways.
At first we were lovers and now we seems to be so far apart.
I wish on the brightest star that i could find out where u are.
I wish u could understand how i feel
but of course u cant cause
u have forgotten where the loves at!
sometimes i say to myself , 'wasnt i good enough for u?'
Even though i love u so much
but i think its time to close my heart for u
and keep it all inside me!
Now i think its time to say goodbye

hmm , im moving on to my world alr .
a world whr he doesnt play a part in it.
no longer waiting for his return baa .
ie realise , all this while ..
im still waiting for his return ,
ie was still secretly hoping that
maybe we will still be able to be tgt agains.

ie realised , how foolish ie am
to be having fancy thinking on me & him
ie was secretly waiting for him to come bakk to my side.
How foolish .
now , ie decided to truly let go alr.
& after this 1 month + , ive gotten use to the life
im living now.
therefore , ie believe ..
im able to say , byebye to our love.

ie dun wish to shed tears for this relationship
neither do ie wish to continue thinking abt him .
ie dun wish to wait secretly ,
ie dun wish to give myself false hope on US.
ie dun wish to be so silly .
ie decided to wake up (:

Yes , yes . ie gonna wake up .
wake up from my foolish dream , wake up from my childishness .
ie realise , ie haven give u and ur gf a true blessing .
Hahahaas ,

well , kaming .
must last long with ur gf laa .
best is longer den me & u .
brk our record , im looking forward to it.
when u guys ever brk our record of 22 mOnths ,
write in this blog & tell me la !
LOL .
dun unreasonablee with ur gf .
giving my biggest blessing to u .
this time , NO CURSE inside .
ie swear =D

last time , ie say giving u my blessing , inside all got curse de .
but , this time ..
is a one true blessing wors !

dun worries abt me , cause ..
im living a happy life w/o u still ..
maybe last few post , ie was still unhappy .
but , thats cause ..
ie haven wake up yet .
but , after thinking for 1 whole nite .
after asking myself , why am ie making MYSELF so miserable ..
ie decided , ie got to put an end to my own misery .
soo , ie decided to truly let go & move on (:

when ie gt bf lers , ie will write in this blog ok ?
Hahahahas .

ps : friend , we are friends always .

12:08 PM

Friday, August 29, 2008

Tonight I stare at these bare walls as I wipe these bitter tears,
This heart of mine was once filled with love is now blank and empty,
Never thought in my life
I'll experience this serenity.
The bliss I knew before is pain I can't bear,
Wishing all these grief and sorrow is just a part of a big nightmare.
I once believed all I need to do is smile, To conquer the pain I feel inside me.
I don't know how to grin and what I shall be,
Now my heart have closes ,
Tonight I stare at these bare walls hoping this is all a nightmare,
that as I wake up again I'll get over this despair.

Haiis D=
everytime when im alone , ie cant stop thinking abt him
LOVE is somethings that bring lots of pain .
shags ~
nvm , ie shall smile my way thru this (:

12:05 PM

Thursday, August 28, 2008

when the past is
certain to be left to collect dust ,
they will den only be able to open
into the future .

that's my feeling now baa =/

11:44 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

You can break my heart a million times,
but I will not fear love.
It is not Love that caused my pain,
but caring for someone who could not feel my love.

its been a month + alr?
Hahahas =/
well , time passes so fast .
still im on the process of letting go & trying to stop loving him.
shags ~ how long more do ie niid to take.

somehow , ie tried hating him .
but it didnt last long .
ie couldnt hate him for long ..
cause still my love is stronger than hate.
still , ie will end up missing him .
ie del-ed his contact so ie could just move on .
but , now , here ie am ..
asking myself if deleting his contact was the right thing.
maybe its right , thats what a person who is trying to forget a love should do right?

ITS RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT !!!

ie realised something , nv believe in a relationship too much .
nv put ur bf/gf in the first place of ur heart .
cause when it comes to brk up ,
only ur friends will be thr for u .
bf/gf may say ,' ie will always be here for u , '
bf/gf always say ,' when u feel like crying , ie can lend u my shoulder to lean on. '

However , they did nort realise ..
they are the ones who make tears fall out , they did nort realise ..
they will nv be thr when u're sad , cause they was the one whu created saddness
therefore , nv put ur bf / gf in the first place ..
cause , its nv worth it.
& ie will nv repeat my mistake agains.
Yes , bf may be impt however .. my friends are moreee impt =D
nowadays , for no reason , my brain kept repeating the same words he said to me.
' WO BU YAO NI LE ' ie dunnoe whyy laa .
& it still does affects me .
his gf must be sooo hornoured to hear him telling me off that time uh ?
Hahahahas =/

3:15 AM

Saturday, August 23, 2008

:o
10 km run ?
woah , niiiice ..
keep fit.

hmm , reached hm at abt 1:30am ?
went to ah ma hus , watched a disgusting DVD with nana & geo.
abit RA , cause no censored de.
EHH , wait wait .
why am ie writing this here ..
this shuld be for my own blog one.
-.-'

4:15am still cant sleep ..
guess , ie was looking forward to his post ?
ERM , dun get me wrong =x
its cause this is his blog that's whyy ie will wan read so muuchh .
im his reader maa ?
hmm , like that say gt liink nort?
suan ler .. ie dunnoe wad ie tokking oso ..
going to update my own blog den SLEEEP .

Hahaha , someone have to RUN 10km while ie get to sleep .
Hohoho =p
ok , evil me.
GOODNITES ALL EXCEPT the ONE thats running ltr , dun think u will be sleeping alr?

1:34 PM

nw at chambers . goin play dota liao . wish me OWNAGE ! LOLS! ltr 6.15am stil have to go til padang for 10 KM run ! sians half . k la.. shall end here. nights .

9:50 AM

thks you for posting .
read ur msn niick , u said just only one post ,
immdly , my heart beat speed up , ie clench my fist ,
ie felt butterfly in my stomach , ie felt so happy & nervous.
Hahahaas , tho its a short post ,
but to me , ie means alot still ..

4:44 AM

actually , i've LOADS TO SAY ! but !!! i cant say it !!!!!! nononononono , i realli cant say it . lame me . -.-
ga . . . . . . . . . . .

4:26 AM

WOW ! so long nvr post liao -.- ga . . . . . . . . . ~
siao bo ? post den donno wat to say , anw , jus book out today cos of COC parade .
jus ate my dinner too , wanton mee ! maybe ltr goin play dota with frens ba .
k ba , donno wat to write le . free den update again . =)
sorry for such a short post . out of the sudden , mind is in a blank .
km

4:17 AM

Friday, August 22, 2008

I'm tired of feelings, I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of playing the same old games.
I'm tired of stories with no conclusions.

You used to be my reason to breath,
And now your're the reason why im bleeding.
Why can't I live with good-byes?
I'm sick of hurt, I'm sick of pain
why should I live if there's nothing to gain?
I gave all I have to give,
BUT still , things just fell apart again .

still , thinking abt him .
thr's this passer by said he/she thinks that kamiing treats me as a spare tire.
Haiis , maybe its true?

I dunnoe .. still , when im outside my skool , ie will
think abt him coming to skool to piick me up .
everything is all the past .
ie know that everything have end , but whyy cant ie stop loving u !

1:04 AM

Monday, August 18, 2008

I always thought we'd grow old together,
Facing each new day.
But now, in the tears that fall upon my face.
Your face fades away.

In my bedroom, surrounded by empty walls.
I want to scream and shout.
My mouth opens, but the tortured words...
Just won't come out.

Used to think I was so lucky.
I had it all.
Nothing unknown is knowable, so depressed.
You just watched me fall.

My heart bleeds.
The snow becomes red.
Were you ever here?
Do you even care ?

You're like salt on an open wound.
Reminding me you once were here.
Warm like the blood in my veins.
The love I had for you, so dear.

u've cause me to be hurt so badly , so badly that ie just wanna hurt u back .
ie just wanna say those harsh things to u .
but , do u rly think ie did nort ever loved u ?

USE UR BRAINS & THINK AGAIN .

Haiis ,
cause of whatever that took place ,
it even affected my health , ie couldnt slp at nite .
falling ill day by day .
cause , the hurt u caused..
rly hurts alot .

ie was so unprepared .
imagine , one min ur mine & next ur gone.
how does that feel ?
22 mOnths , just gone within a blink of an eye .
putting urself in my shoes ,
do u think ie could accept that ?
ie had hope on us , lots of hope .
but , all of the sudden u just disappear frm my life .
do u think ie can accept that ?

One min , ur kisisng me , hugging me , telling me u LOVE me .
next min , there u are , doing the same thing to another girl .
do u think ie can accept that ?
yes , if u would take a min & understand ..
u would noe , boy ..
u have hurted me deeply D=

ps: ie wunt blame u if u dun understand still , cause .. u nv did .

6:08 AM

Friday, August 15, 2008

Why do I love you
With all my heart?
Why did I fall for you
From the start?

Why do you cause me
So much pain?
Why do you stick to my heart
Like a stain?

Why couldn't I see
You weren't gonna stay?
Why did I believe
You were gonna take the pain away?

Why did you play my heart
Like a game?
Why couldn't you ever
Feel the same?

Why do I sit In my room all alone?
Why do I pray
You would call my phone?

Why did you end it
Right after our 22 months ?
Why didn't it bother you
When you made my eyes tear?

Why cant I stop thinking of you,
Why can't I say goodbye?

Why do I still get jealous
When I know you're with another girl?

Why can't I forget about you
And put you in the past?
Why does a part of me still believe
That me and you were made to last?

guess , thats what ppl says ,
im just a stupid girl whu still cant let go >.<
gdniites all.

1:21 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

hey , ie got bored & read up our old post ..
& ie come across this ..
Haiis , tears just non stop flowing out.
FCUK.

on , 19 aug 2007 , sunday.
'' hmmm. long long long time nvr post le.. LOLS! past few days happened lots of thing..
darling was being chased away. cos she wanted FREEDOM.
the first she met is me. i know she's feeling down at tt moment.. and of cos.
she also cannot find place to sleep.. tt makes me worry den i have to pei her the whole day..
tt's i shld do rite?? hahas.
first night.. we went to cemetry~ with frens and DUA LI YA PEH. darling was scared in the beggining.. hahas. til midnight den go back Enous.
after tt pple drive us back to yishun. but tt day very du lan lorr.
i got ONE fren like to get near to cas.. don wanna say out HIS name.
DAR, must learn how to move away when other guy stands near u can??
i see le very JEALOUS leh! lols.when we reach yishun, DAR sneak into my hse. hahas.
she spent her first night outside at my hse. hahas.. hug her for the whole night ZzZzzZ. sweet hor?
2nd sec was not tt good.. got quarrel abit. but nvm.. it's over anw.. hahas!
den night time we went to find place to sleep.. DAR, u xing ku, i also pei u xing ku ok?? =)
loads of PROMISES was made# =D
2nd night we sleep at a place.. very stupid la.. i don wan say out where.. hahas.. very Paiseh. =)
but of cos nvr do anything lar pple! don misunderstand!
3rd day, morning we left the place back to yishun by bus.
Dar de leg keep numb.. so funny. hahas.. when we reach yishun den rain.. sway!
den dar met her frens at Northpoint Mac.. den i went home to change and help her charge hp..
lols.. den sunddenly, something happened which dar don wish it wil happen.
her parents saw her!!! OMG! and of cos, her mum ask her to go home. den her dad threathened to report police.
lols. when her parents left, i meet her at mrt station. she pei me go orchard for job interview with my frens.
after everything, we spent our last moment tgt. cos she have to go home.
dar in unwilling to home. but i WAN her to~ so yeahs. and yup!
we went to take neoprint. dear.. nice hor?? hahas.. after tt we buy ice cream and eat.
Dar eat ice cream so slow..~ stil eat til like xiao hua mao like tt..eat til whole lips also full of chocalate.. hahas.. when i finish mine, she share with me her's. both of us bite one end.. SO SWEET. at tt moment, i feel like crying wor.. *watery eyes at tt moment*
cos i very happy ma.. den i see her face. so silly and cute.. =)
11pm+ , she have to go home le. we took mrt and alight at amk.. and of cos, i know she very very bu she de.. me too wor.. LOLS..
see her up the bus 852. when she left, i suddenly felt so lonely.. i have to walk alone AGAIN!
i cann no longer feel her hand and hear her voice.
tt's the thing which makes me feel so lonely. but nvm, i'll wait for her freedom..
i wil not take back my words de..when i reach home she stil haven even sms me..
makes me feel so WORRY at tt moment. *sobs*sobs and wait for her sms til i fall asleep.
next morning saw her sms. felt so happy..
dar, don every regret goin home ok?? don be silly.i really cannot make it without u.. realli~
i love u so much.. MISS YOU like the dessert MISS the rain =)
i love u forever misses MUACKS! ''

Haiis , so much changes in everything.
this post rly touches me , cos his word are words that came thru his heart .
thinking abt it , imagining the scene once agains , unknowningly .
tear just swelled up my eyes.
WHY things have to just change so much ..
Haiis , its abt 1 years ago frm now..
see the differences?
D=

3:13 AM

22 months was a long journey ..
going thru up & downs ,
quarrels , fights , smiles , laughter , crys , joy .
However , thr's always an end to any journey .
& we ended on 080808 .

2:52 AM

Friday, August 8, 2008

KNOW what , its over btn me & him.
read my blog for more info.
im nort feeling well , so , ie dun have energy to repeat.
LOL .

http://www.casandraaa.blogspot.com

12:53 PM

Haiis , siick now.
38.7 deegree & somehow ..
when my brain felt like bursting ..
when ie was fcuking fcuking giddy ..
ie thought of HIM.

im still in love with him so deeply.
shags ~

3:51 AM

Friday, August 1, 2008

ITS alr 3.30am .
im yawning , as im fcuking tired.
but .. I CANT sleep .
arrrgghh!
sleepless night for coming a week alr.
gOsh -.-''
how did ie survied w/o falling siick ?!
shags ~

Haiis , moody moody moody .
thats all ie can express my mood.
just feel , im no different frm the dead.

Haiis D=

12:25 PM

how can u just del my comments ie wrote to u while u were in DB ,
dun u noe , all these stuff ie wrote is thru feelings & come frm my heart ?
& u nort only del that , u del those ie wrote to u when we just patched.
whats ur purpose?
u del everything all the way until the comments ie wrote to u when we broke up .
Haiis , u fcuking hell did nort even thinking abt how ie will feel .
call urself NORT selfish ?

to me , u are just ONE SELFISH GUY .
nabeis & when ie ask u ,
u still can attitude me ?
u still can shout at me ?
ni bu jue de zi ji hen guo fen meh ?
I GUESS U DUN .
everything u do , like ie said ..
u didnt think abt my feeling.
the brk up , everything single thing .
DID U CONSIDER MY FEELINGS?
noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
u noe how much im suffering CAUSE of ur SELFISHNESS?!
ie cant sleep at night , images of u keep appearing ..
I DUNNOE appear for what !
FCUK .
ie think u is alr fade feelings ba ..
fade feeling den say la , dun say for what ?!
& ytd , u msg me abt me giving up .
BOY , is U whu let me go , u whu GIVE me up first .
even if now ie have decided to give up on this relationship & u ,
whats wrong with that ?
u didnt care to cherish this relationship what .
u let this relationship go no matter how much ie begged .
DEN ?! ie cannurt give up issit?
Y cant ie give up .

its nort that ie wanna give up , is the longer ie hold on ..
the more im causing saddness & suffering to MYSELF .
ie dunwans to hold on anymore , ie dun wish to hold on to someone
whu totally have no plans on patching .
whu feel that im nort gd enuff for him .
cause , ib a guy truely loves me ..
he will feel im the best even tho ie have attitude problem .
he will nort say ' the way u treat me , cannurt make it '
FCUK ! u noe how hurting ma ?!
den u , timed me .. u feel this is what u call treated me good ?
is ie choose to forgive & forget .
ie choose to ignore some of ur mistakes cause ie noe overall , u are good to me.
SAME here , ie too got some minor rotten part of me ,
but u choose to see me as A WHOLE ROTTEN piece of shit.
thats what u see me as , that's y .. u will nv be able to see how
much im trying to change for u .
how much im trying to adapt to what u wan me to be as ur gf .
U nv notice any of this .
ie dunwans to hold on anymore !!

shags ~
why am ie saying so much to someone whu dun even give a damn abt my feelings.
whu dun even give a damn to a girl whu is is hurted so deeply.
whu dun even give a damn , no matter how much tears u shed.
someone whu doesnt care at all .
Haiis D=